Women of God
In a changing world, Christian women
hold on to an unchanging hand: God's hand.
The Secrets of Converting Your Husband
                      by Annette Hendrix

               Christian Woman Magazine
                           Sept/Oct 2001

Nothing distresses you more. Your husband is not a Christian. You love him very much, but he refuses to
give his life to the Lord. Your children need a Christian father. Having a Christian husband would vastly
improve the quality of your family life and solve many of your problems.

Regardless of how content you may be with your husband, you know your home would be much happier if
it was a genuine Christian home with both spouses following the Lord. One of the most heartbreaking
problems of religiously divided marriages is the deep chasm existing between husband and wife because
they are not united in the most important area of life.

The first and most important step toward helping your husband become a Christian is for you to care
deeply about his soul. Some wives do not seem concerned that their husbands are not Christians.

To really care, you must realize that the Bible teaches that your husband will not be saved without
surrendering his life to the Lord (Mark 16:16; Acts 2:38). Also be aware that you will never win him for the
Lord nor will you receive the help necessary from others unless you are sincerely troubled enough about
his lost condition to try to save him.

You would perhaps be surprised to hear committed soul winners or preachers say that one of the biggest
obstacles to converting a husband is often the Christian wife.

Some wives are afraid for anyone to talk to their husbands. Other wives will not cooperate with ministers or
other concerned persons who want to get acquainted with their husbands in hopes that opportunities will
develop to talk to them about the Bible's teachings. These wives do not invite other Christians to their
homes, and they seldom invite their husbands to go with them to Christian social gatherings outside the
church building.

One preacher admitted that most of the times he has converted a non-Christian husband have happened
because he bypassed the Christian wife and went directly to the husband. He said he has been successful
with this approach and has given up trying to work through the wife.

You will need help in winning your husband to Christ, especially from God. So never forget to pray daily for
God's blessing in this task. Pray for the right words to use, guidance in the right things to do, for the right
opportunities to be with friends who care and will help, and for your husband to be placed in contact with
people who can melt his heart. God has promised to answer our persistent godly prayers. Consider asking
your friends to also pray privately for your husband's salvation.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you" (Matthew
7:7 KJV).

"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive" (Matthew 21:22).

"The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much" (James 5:16).

Before a mate can be converted, he must develop a good attitude toward the church. You can have a
significant part in creating this good attitude by mentioning only good things about the church or individual
members when around your husband. Negative conversation creates a bad impression of Christians in his
mind. If he is allowed to develop a bad image of God's people, it will be twice as hard to convert him.

Gossip on a wife's part about the weaknesses of church members confirms his contention that he is just as
good as those Christians and helps him to rationalize his non-Christian stance. You will then have to
persuade him to accept the Bible's teaching and erase all the bad thoughts and images you have created
of the church.

Since you are his principal source of information about the church, you must be sure he knows about the
good things Christians are doing.

You should be a good publicity agent (2 Corinthians 5:20). The failings of fellow church members should
not be a topic of discussion in anyone's home. The admirable rather than the negative should always be
emphasized (Philippians 4:8).

If your husband has a good image of God's people, this high opinion will help him to believe that the
church is a good group to be associated with. This will be more important in his conversion than you
probably realize. The loving, accepting fellowship of Christians moves many people to consider becoming
a Christian that otherwise would never do so. When your husband thinks of the church, he should have an
image of a group of really nice people that he respects and enjoys. It is your job to give him this image.

When a wife wants someone extremely close to her to make a very important and crucial decision, her
closeness may make her so uptight that she is not capable of examining her manner of presentation.
Consequently, a pushy rather than a reasoning approach may result.

When a wife, even with good intentions, tries to drive her husband to do something, his stubborn nature
will be activated and a revolt produced instead. Obviously, this is not desirable for two reasons. First, it will
not produce a positive result. Second, even if it did, the motivation would not please God.

All men have some resistance in them. Many times, a man will actually refuse to do something he wants or
needs to do rather than appear to be giving in to the pressure of someone else to do it. We see this
characteristic readily with our teenagers and need to recognize its validity in adults too.

Remember this principle as you talk to your husband about Jesus: the power of the Gospel is a drawing
power, not a driving power. "No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him"
(John 6:44).

Any approach that tries to force mental compliance will also hinder a good marriage relationship. One can
easily see how a pestered husband could become antagonistic toward the gospel and the church. Who
wants to be tied to someone perpetually trying to change him?

If you were going to sell a product successfully to someone, you must first be sold on it yourself. Anyone
who is as close to you as a spouse will know how you really feel about your religion and if you really
believe it. They will know whether your religion is the most important thing in the world to you or if your
religion is just a pretense.

One of the most important principles to follow in converting your husband is found in 1 Peter 3:1-2: "Wives,
in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may
be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your
lives" (NIV).

Some wives will not be able to get their husbands to talk to them about becoming a Christian, but they
should never give up. By living godly lives before their husbands, they can show them many good reasons
for accepting the way of Christ.

Your companion will respect your convictions if he sees you are faithful to them. Therefore, you must
never compromise or let the devil tempt you to weaken in your zeal.

Your husband should constantly see a real love for God and His Word. He should see that you are
intensely interested in all phases of the church's work and that you enjoy attending all services whenever
God's people gather. He should see that you study the Bible with pleasure. Most of all, he should see no
contradiction between the way you live and what the Bible teaches. A non-believing husband should easily
be able to see that his Christian wife genuinely loves the Lord and that she is a better wife because of her
Christianity.

When an unsaved man is joined to one of God's children, that man is marked for special treatment
because he is joined to a person in whom the Spirit of God lives (1 Corinthians 7:14). Through his wife, he
has the opportunity to live with the teachings of God's Word 24 hours a day.

Never give up.
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